Esej o ženách

What would you think of your present sex if you were a member of the opposite sex?
 
I woke up in the morning. It was a normal workday. I didn’t want to go to work. I was too lazy to get-off from the bed. I would rather slept little more. I woke up three or four times more and recognized that I spent lot of time and I’ll come late to work. Finally I get-off the bed. I had no time for shower. No time to have a breakfast or clean my teeth. Never mind, I bought something on the way and ate it in car. Morning hygiene I replaced with chewing gum. Hi-tech chewing gum cleans my teeth and after chewing it I have a fresh breathe. Ok, I did these things but what to wear? I found couple days old socks on the floor near my bed. On my chair I found shirt which was using only for last two weeks and trousers on the table, which really needs ironing is also comfortable.

Now I could leave my flat. Oh dear, where are my keys? In the garbage on the table? Near the phone? No, I put my hand in my pocket and there they were. I locked the front door and came to my car. Which woman could park her car so stupid? I couldn’t get out. Only crazy woman can park the car that way.

I felt hungry. It was time to stop at Mc Donald. A new girl worked there. What does such a sexy girl do in this hole? Maybe I could ask her to go out for a dinner and then ask her to go to my flat to have sex with me. Oh no, I have no time. I’ll ask her next time. Burgers from uncle Donald are so perfect. Green-peace members are mad. The cows are to produce milk and tasty beef.

Oh my god, I nearly crashed. I was on main road and someone from crossroad didn’t stop at his yield sign. It was a woman for hundred percent. The government should forbid women to drive a car. They drive mindless, and they never use a head. Only vehicle, which women should be allowed to drive is baby coach.

Ok, I’m on the park-place in front of my office. What do I see? Someone opened a new gun shop in the same street as my office. I should visit it after work. Maybe they have that special gun, I always use in the computer games. I love that gun. If they have it, I have to buy it and after that I’ll be a superman. I could go with my friends some forest to kill some hind, like men in the Middle Ages. It’ll by perfect but now it’s time to go to work.

I am only 20 minutes late. I could say it’s because of a traffic-jam. Super, nobody noticed that I am late. I sat into my desk and started to finish my work from last day. I worked couple of minutes but I had to go to toilet because in that hurry in the morning in my flat I forgot to go. My college looked surprised when he saw me there but he was not as surprised as me when I saw myself in the mirror and recognize that I am a woman.

What do you think doctor? Am I schizophrenic?
I wouldn’t say that but you are extremely psychically interrupted, because no man is like you described you think men are.
Zones.sk – Zóny pre každého študenta
https://www.zones.sk/studentske-prace/anglictina/4442-esej-o-zenach/