Family, Home, Relatives

Family, Home, Relatives

1.FAMILY

In every culture worldwide, the family holds special importance. It is a group of people consisting of one or two parents and their children. They are socially related to one another. An exam of such a social relationship might be marriage or cohabitation.

Our family supports us when we need it. They are with us in all the important moments in our lives. It`s our homes where we learn all the skills we need for life- how to be tolerant, how to get on with people, how to be self-disciplined and helpful, how to communicate with people, etc.

Family is a safe place where each person helps the other. A place where everyone's needs are understood and accepted, where good and bad are shared. Even when we grow up, we try to keep in touch with them. It provides us shelter when we need a place to escape or need encouragement. They support us financially, emotionally and materially.

It is a place where no matter what happened before we will be always welcomed and where we will always find home and feel safe.

2.FAMILY STRUCTURES

EXTENDED FAMILY

-consists of three or more generations living in the same household (or very close proximity).

Pros:

-when the parents are all exhausted from work, there are grandparents ready to help or take care of their children.

-children grow up in a warm, loving environment with lots of relatives

-family contacts amongst kin and wider kin are closer,stronger, more personal and more frequent than in the nuclear family.

Cons:

-grandparents and parents have different views towards, and methods of, child-rearing.

-grandparents are usually old-fashioned or they spoil their grandchildren.

-grandparents take the grandchildren`s sides in conflicts.

THE NUCLEAR FAMILY

-consists of two generations of family members living in the same household.

Pros:

-nobody commands you how to raise your children, so they don`t feel confused.

-living in such a family means less chaos and arguments in the hausehold.

Cons:

-family contacts amongst kin are usually weaker and less frequent than in extended families.

-contact with wider kin is more likely to involve 'impersonal contacts'.

-children grow up without spending too much time with relatives, so they might become lonely, more dependent on their parents.

-children have no one to play with and parents mostly neglect their children, because they they are tired and stressed after work.

SINGLE-PARENT FAMILY

-involve a single parent and dependent children. This type of family is referred to as a 'BROKEN NUCLEAR', because it often arises out of the break-up of a nuclear family.

The presence of such a a family can be attributed by 3 main factors:

-an increase in the numbers of people divorcing.

-pregnancy outside marriage.

-the death of a marriage partner.

Pros:

-living in such a family means absence of arguments between parents and that may have a very positive effect on the children`s lives.

-being raised in a single parent home often makes children more mature and self-responsible at a younger age.

Cons:

-taking care of the children, doing the household chores and having a job can be very difficult to handle for one person physically, financially and emotionally, that`s why sometimes children become neglected.

-children, especially teenagers might miss the other parent, because at this age of becoming adults they need advice and support from both of them.

RECONSTITUTED (STEP-FAMILY)

-this type of family is usually nuclear in form and involves parents, children of either spouse from a first marriage and children from their present marriage.

Pros:

-the children now have two parents and may have a higher income and better standard of living.

Cons:

-the new step-parent can be hated, and sibling rivalry may start between the children of each parent

3.FAMILY MEMBERS

PARENTS

They are the closest to us. They take care of us, our health and problems from our birth until we grow up.

They are not only kind, but also requiring and strict, because they are worried about us. They are also responsible for our upbringing.

We are related to them by blood and even if we live far from them we always try to keep in touch with them.

They support us when we need it and they are with us at all the important moments .

They support us financially, emotionally and materially.

SIBLINGS

They are from the same generation so sometimes we share the same hobbies, opinions,etc.

Statistically we spend more time with our siblings than with any other member of the family, so clashes and sibling rivalry are inevitable,too.

BIRTH ORDER and the number of siblings have a huge impact on our personality, ambitions and social life.

FIRSTBORNS are given the responsibility of looking after their younger brother or sister.

YOUNGEST KIDS take advantage of being the most vulnerable. They are the most protected and defended family members. They are spoilt and get away with the most, but it is hard for them to attract the adults`attention as their achievements are compared with those of their older siblings. Their abilities are usually underestimated and overlooked.

THE MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME- these kids often feel ignored and tend to become loners or odd-one-outs. They have to struggle hardest for the attention and need a lot of encouragement and support to develop confidence.

ONLY CHILD grows up under special circumstances. They don`t need to share, wait or fight for their parents`attention, but they tend to have problems in socializing with peers, since they spend most of their time with grown-ups. They seem to be less adaptive and independent as well.

GRANDPARENTS

They spoil their grandchildren , because they don`t see each other often.

They can afford to be like that, because they are not responsible for us.

They have some difficulties to understand their grandchildren later when they become teenagers, because their generation has other ideas, values than theirs.

4.RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN FAMILY MEMBERS and RELATIVES

KINSHIP is a connection between people related by marriage (they are spouses). It is aswell a blood relationship-a connection through lines of descent. E.g. Parents and children.

GENERATION GAP

When the kids become teenagers, problems appear. One of them is this generation gap between kids and parents or kids and grandparents. The main reason is the dissimilar scale of priorities of both these generations.

PARENTS complain that their children do not listen to them.

-about their kids spending all their free time with their friends.

-their kids have other opinion, ideas, fantasies or priorities.

-they complain about their hairstyles, clothing, behaviour-they are rude, they talk back, they are cheeky, disobediant,etc.

-they refuse their advice, because they are stubborn and they think they are right.

-they refuse to spend free time with them, because they prefer their friends.

TEENAGERS complain about that their parents don`t understand them.

-they see them as children all the time.

-they insist on their opinion and they don`t accept theirs, because they consider them to be immature and incapable to create their own views.

-they don`t give them enough freedom, because they are worried about them.

-they don`t give them enough money, because they are afraid they would spend them on alcohol, cigarettes or in the worst case on illegal substances.

To find a compromise they should communicate more. Scolding children all the time is not a solution, but letting them do whatever they want is not good either.

FAMILY GATHERING

-it gives us chance to meet relatives we don`t see too often, we talk to them.

With wider kin we get together on special occasions: at Christmas, on celebrations like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, but also funerals. 

5.MARRIAGE

We place a great deal of importance upon the concept of 'legal marriage' as the cornerstone of the family group.

COHABITATION

-two people live together and raise their children without being legally married.

In the past there used to be prejudices against people who did not get married before a certain age. Women were marked as spinsters and men as bachelors. Today they are recognised as modern, independent people, who simply do not want to be tied down by marriage.

TYPES OF MARRIAGE

Marriage can be a type of:

MONOGAMY-you can only be legally married to one partner at any one time.

STRICT MONOGAMY-you are married to your partner until his/her death-divorce is prohibited. E.g. Southern Ireland

POLYGAMY-in other societies avrious forms of polygamy are practised-where a man can be married to more than one woman or, in rather more extreme cases, a woman can be legally married to more than one man.

CHOICE OF MARRIAGE PARTNER

Nowadays, in most of societies it is a matter of INDIVIDUAL CHOICE- people meet, fall in love, get married.

Pros:

-we are married to someone who we love, we want to live with and have children with.

Cons:

-we may become disappointed by the partner we`ve chosen, and since no strict religion prohibits us to divorce, then we feel free to leave our partners and find someone else rather than solve our problems. 

However, there are societies where (especially where the Hindu religion is well-established) ARRANGED MARRIAGES are the norm-in this case parents choose their child`s marriage partner.

Pros:

-in the past it was popular amongst the upper class, because wealthy parents wanted to ensure that their family wealth was not diluted by their child`s 'inappropriate' marriage.

Cons:

-we marry to someone we barely know, we don`t love.

-this type of marriage might lead to unhappiness.

6.DIVORCE

For:

Sometimes divorce is the only way how to solve the problems between parents. These problems might be rows, violence, drugs, abuse or alcoholism.

Parents should give up their marriage in a sensible way, so their children would find peace again. Maybe without fights they would feel better with one parent and seeing the other at weekends. The most important is to ensure the child that it`s not his/her fault.

Against:

Parents should see a psychologist to solve their problems because of their children, because they don`t want to see them unhappy and feel lonely. They would miss the other parent, especially when they become teenagers.

ITS EFFECT ON CHILDREN

Many children grow up in families which are broken. The kids might suffer emotionally or financially. This trend is rising, because the divorce rate is rising.

More kids live in families that cannot help them to overcome the problems they face everyday. They may feel it is their fault that their parents`ve divorced. They might feel lonely, especially when they become teenagers. They need to learn to be independent, they fall in love for the first time and they need advice from both mother and father.

7.HOUSEHOLD

-is a group of people who have a common residence. There is not necessary any family or kinship relationship between them, yet it is important to live and behave oneself according to some rules in the household.

DUTIES,HOUSEHOLD CHORES AND PAYS

-all members should share the household chores.

-chores should be devided equally, otherwise relationships in the family may get worse and result in complains, arguments.

Mothers do all the household chores indoors which includes cooking, preparing snacks, dusting the furniture, making beds, cleaning the windows,hoovering, washing the dishes and clothes, sweeping the floor and ironing. Girls usually help their moms with shopping and almost everything mentioned.

Fathers do the harder work like gardening, repairing things, carrying the bags when their wives are shopping. Boys help them with repairing, taking out the trash and dusting furniture.

HOW DOES IT WORK IN MY FAMILY

In my family mom does almost all the household chores. I try to help her as much as I can, mostly at the weekends, when I have more free time. I usually help her with dusting the furniture, making bed, sweeping the floor, ironing, washing the dishes, hanging out the clothes and hoovering. As far as cooking is concerned it`s my mother`s job. I`m too clumsy in the kitchen, so my mom usually chases me away whenever I try to help. My father as the strongest member of the family helps us with any physical work we can`t handle and he can repair everything what goes wrong. My mom does the shopping while dad is at work and me with my sister at school.

HOW DO WE SPEND TIME TOGETHER

Since we are living in the busy 21^st century, we have less free time and even less time to spend with our families.

My father is an architect, who works day and night, so lately I barely see him. When I return back home from school it is quite late and I need a few hours to prepare for the next day, yet I still find some time to spend with mom and my sister. We talk and play with my sister and later, when I have all my homeworks done, I watch TV with my mom.

At weekends we go for some short trip. Later I help with the household chores and in the evening I hang out with my boyfriend and friends. My parents usually stay at home and enjoy the stressless days. In summer sometimes we go to the Slnečné jazerá to sunbathe and swim and later have a grilled fish as dinner. In winter on winter holidays the whole family comes together, especially at Christmas. We give each other presents and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere.

When I was younger we used to spend more time together, because I had less duties and less activities or interests. In summer we used to go to Croatia and in winter we were all the time together, even on New Year's Eve. Now in summer I usually work and in winter I hang out with friends with whom I celebrate the arrival of the new year, too.

Unfortunatelly, I can`t spend more time with my family, because I travel a lot,every day to school and back home, which takes 3 hours a day and after arriving home I have to study. It is difficult, but I`ve chosen this way and that little free time I have I try to devote to my family as much as I can.

WHAT DOES FAMILY MEAN TO ME?

Literature indicates the term 'family' as a group of people who are socially related to one another. To me family means more than just social relationships. 26

I consider my family as an indivisible part of my life. I cannot imagine myself living withou them even on the most beautiful place on the Earth. Family provides help, encouragement, understanding, but most of all love, which belongs to one of those inevitable needs of every human being. 48

What is more, family means freedom to me. It must not make you feel tied down, because it should support you in breaking through and encouraging you to follow your dreams. My family trusts me and makes me remember that they will not try to shape my personality by ordering me all the time, but giving me advice, enough freedom and safety to learn from my own experiences without being hurt. 71

When I say 'family', most of people might think I refer to my parents, sister and relatives, but to my family belongs everyone who I feel at home with. It means that friends belong there too and that home is not a place to me, but a feeling. If you realise this, you`ll never feel homesick again, because wherever you would go, as long as you are with your family, you will take your home with you. 73

As you can see I consider my family to be more than a group of people who I am related to only through lines of descent.It is aswell love, freedom and friendship.